3. She didn't get enough time. I appreciate everyones kind words over the last few months, but I still miss her terrribly. Trigger fills a different void that I didn't know was there. I call him my sensitive sally, he's intuitive and knows when I need to hold him.
They would have been best friends. I can only imagine the rough housing and laps that would have been ran around my house and yard. The tussling and growling. I miss her voice. I'm not even sure I can dream it right. Sometimes Triggers fur, when clean, feels just like hers, and sometimes that makes me cry. I find myself comparing her to the German Shepards at the dog park, in how they do or do not obsess over a tennis ball or frisbee, wether their voices sound like hers. The blue eyes in the huskies at the park sometimes freeze me and I have to tell myself to get with the program.
Sometimes I look at her "urn" on the shelf and wonder to myself how someone so so stinking precious and with such a big heart and soul could possibly fit in that little canister. Like, how can someone be reduced to something so small? I started working on a shadowing for her, but I couldn't choose a photo in the hundreds of photos and videos without crying or forgetting what I was doing.
Someone asked what my favorite part of my dogs personalities are, and it made me sobbing upset to think that I can't decide what was my favorite or how I can just pick one of the many traits I miss. Even the bad ones. Lets face it. There's no such thing as a bad dog, just different.
You never move on, you never get over it. You just learn how to move along, how to cope, how to continue because you can't do it any other way. She may have been "just a dog" to you, but to me, she was so so so much more.
